Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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