physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
