I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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