ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
