This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
