we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
