careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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