It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
