I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
