At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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