Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
