I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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