You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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