Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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