Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
