worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
