ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
