I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My bed smells like the plague
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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