I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
