I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It's blow job season.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
