I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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