All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
