I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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