I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
there is puke in my bra ... again
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
