i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
