I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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