I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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