the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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