Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
