Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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