Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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