Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
