New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
