Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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