Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
