Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
