so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just had sex on a roof
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
