A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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