How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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