my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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