Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
