got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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