I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
