And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
