I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
