His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
