Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
