i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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