As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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