Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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