Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize